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My Bone Marrow Transplant

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

Why would this be? Simple really.

As the needle slides into the vein to extract blood for analysis, you realise that in 1 – 2 hours you will be in heaven or hell. It’s that binary, no in between. Either all is well or the disease is back. Normal life continues or it’s time to make sure that all is in order.

The stress starts a few days before the check up as you start to pay more attention to the signals from your body. Is the nausea and vomiting caused by the medication or is it, perhaps, stomach cancer? A common secondary cancer caused by the chemo The feet swelling won’t go away, are my kidneys getting worse? The last two trips I have felt awful on the morning of my flight to Hong Kong. Psychosomatic? Probably. Both times I have felt a lot better once I got to the airport. The journey has started, no going back, no postponing the binary moment.

I was sitting on the train to HK Airport this morning and decided to listen to some music. My iPhone was on shuffle and the first two songs were “Hurt” by Johnny Cash and then “I can see clearly now” by Jimmy Cliff; two of my favourite songs. When the latter started I felt this overwhelming sense of gratitude and started to tear up. Gratitude for a good check up, gratitude for my family, gratitude for our wonderful friends. Life is good.

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