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My Bone Marrow Transplant

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

It pains me to write this. I mean, it literally pains me. Moving my left arm is painful and I am a very left handed person.

I had Shingles, I was in hospital, I was discharged, the Shingles went away. Then the lizards came. What do they look like? I don’t know because they are invisible. What I do know is that they have long needles for teeth.

The largest of them has a python like jaw so he can lock on to my left man boob with his teeth, upper set on the inside, lower set on the outside. Most of the time he is dormant, but about 2 – 3 times an hour he will stir and the teeth move and the pain level goes up several notches. There is another one who lives in my left armpit, and his job is to fire needles through my man boob at random and seemingly frequent intervals. He also spreads a toxin all over my upper left body and arm which makes the skin super sensitive and very, very itchy. His tail lies along the inside of my left arm and periodically will press needled into the flesh there. Because of the skin sensitivity I choose my shirts for the smoothness of the cloth. I can’t sleep much, I’m up for 2 – 3 hours a night because of the pain. I have to leave the bedroom so I don’t disturb Linds.

My doctor tells me it is Neuropathy, nerve sheath damage from the Shingles. He doesn’t understand about the lizards. He prescribes Lyrica which is a seizure drug. Initially he said 75mg dose twice a day. I doubled that after a day and it still doesn’t stop the pain. It’s just another set of side effects to cope with; edema, dizziness, somnolence, constipation etc.

I’ve tried Acupuncture, it seems to ease the pain for a while but it always comes back. At Linds’ Lasallite Drama Guild reunion at our apartment last night it was suggested that I use marijuana as a pain reliever. Hash brownies were highly recommended by one individual. Sam seemed keen.

Yesterday was a good day, the background pain was tolerable and the spasms infrequent. Today is a whole different story. The lizards are pissed off. Maybe they want the marijuana as well? Either way they are very active so the pain is high and the spasms frequent and vicious. I spend my time with my right hand pressed to my left man boob. Pressing it seems to help. Nothing else does.

Anyone got anything to get rid of invisible alien lizards? If so, please share.

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